Repentance
* THE IMPORTANCE OF REPENTANCE
* WHAT IS REPENTANCE
* THE EXAMPLE OF JACOB
* RECONCILIATION
* RESTORATION, RESTITUTION OR REQUIRED ACTION
* CONFRONTATION
* FORGIVENESS
* ACCOUNTABILITY
* CONCLUSION
* QUESTIONS
* THE IMPORTANCE OF REPENTANCE
Repentance is a major emphasis throughout the Bible. It is mandatory for salvation. Jesus said, “…But unless you repent, you too will all perish.” Luke 13:5, and the Apostle Paul said, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation…” 2 Corinthians 7:10
In the Old Testament repentance was shown by continually offering blood sacrifices to God for sin. After Jesus died on the cross it is no longer necessary to make sacrifices to show repentance. His blood paid the penalty of our sins once and for all: “And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.” Hebrews 10:10,12
In the New Testament John the Baptist preached almost exclusively repentance as the way to getting ready for the coming of Jesus (Matthew 3:1-2 Mark 1:4 Luke 1:16-17, 3:1-20 Acts 13:24, 19:4). Jesus Himself preached, “Repent for the kingdom of God is at hand.” Matthew 4:17 Mark 1:15 Jesus reaffirmed what John preached, “for John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.” Luke 21:31-32
“Repent” means “to feel sorry for having done wrong and seek forgiveness.” The World Book Dictionary. The Hebrew word for repentance is t‘shuva. The Greek noun metanola means after-thought, change of mind. The Greek verb metanoeo means, “to perceive afterwards.” It comes from the words meta, after, implying change, noeo, to perceive and nous, the mind, the seat of moral reflection. It “signifies to change one’s mind or purpose, always in the New Testament involving a change for the better.” Vine’s Expository Dictionary
The Bible gives this definition of repentance: King Solomon asked God to forgive His people “…if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their conquerors and say, `We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly'; and if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul…” 1 Kings 8:47-48, 2 Chronicles 6:37-38
Repentance resulting in salvation is a chance of direction. Instead of going towards hell, one turns and goes toward heaven. Instead of going toward evil, one goes toward good. Instead of going toward foolishness, one goes toward wisdom. Instead of going toward the devil’s way, one goes toward God’s way.
God requires a change of mind and direction in order to become His child. Jesus regarded this change as being so significant that it was like being born again: “I tell you the truth, unless a man is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God…unless a man is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God…” John 3:3, 5
A man must come to know God and have a renewed mind: “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9 If he has a renewed mind (“believe in your heart”) he will tell others (“confess with your mouth”) and will come to know God as his Father (“will be saved”).
When we change our mind we will change our actions: “…faith without deeds is dead.” James 2:26. If we change our actions without changing our mind there will be no lasting change of any significance. There can be no salvation because there is no change of heart. The Apostle Paul reveals the relationship between a change or heart and actions: “…I preached that they should repent and turn to God and prove their repentance by their deeds.” Acts 26:20
John emphasized fruit (actions that come from repentance): “Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not begin to say to yourselves, `We have Abraham as our father.' For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.” Luke 3:8 (See also Matthew 3:7-10)
Jesus (as John did) especially condemns the Pharisees and Sadducees— religious leaders who had a great deal of influence. They were hypocrites, and their lack of genuine fruit caused even those who would believe to turn away: “…You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.” Matthew 23:13
Jesus speaks a great deal about the importance of bearing fruit: “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.” Matthew 12:33-35 (See also Matthew 7:16-20, 21:43-44 Luke 6:43-45,13:6-10)
One of Jesus’ most profound passages concerns our fruit--actions, the result of our belief in Him: “He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples…I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.” John 15:2-8, 16
Paul points out that obeying the law does not mean a person has fruit: “So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God.” Romans 7:4-5
Paul explains exactly what our actions as believers in Jesus should be: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.” Galatians 5:22-24 Our nature is changed, which produces a change in actions—we have been given the Holy Spirit: “…Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.” Ephesians 1:13
Paul’s other letters help reveal our fruit should be. “for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth)…have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.” Ephesians 5:9,11 We now have light, when once we were part of darkness. Jesus calls us “... the light of the world...” Matthew 5:14
Paul prays we will be “filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:11 Jesus is called “...The Lord Our Righteousness.” Jeremiah 23:6 We have His nature--by obeying Him we have the "fruit of righteousness."
Paul prays we will be: “…bearing fruit in every good work…” Colossians 1:10-14
The author of Hebrews reveals that we can’t even offer praise to God unless we are His children: “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise--the fruit of lips that confess his name.” Hebrews 13:15
James explains fruit: “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.” James 3:17-18
A change of mind is also important concerning specific sins. For instance, if you stop smoking, but still are always wishing you could smoke, you are apt to revert back to smoking. You must hate smoking: “To fear the Lord is to hate evil...” Proverbs 8:13 Ask God to help you hate your sin.
Even though God will forgive, we must make every effort to avoid sin: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9. God will not only forgive us, but will also purify us—it will be evident if we are letting God purify us.
Also, we must avoid the appearance of evil--anyone comfortable in the atmosphere of sin is suspect as to whether or not there has been true repentance. We can’t always tell for sure if someone is a Christian, but we should be able to discern more and more.
We should avoid situations that give an opportunity to sin unless specifically called by God to do otherwise--for instance, going into a bar unless called to hand out tracks. True repentance is shown by a change in actions.
A change of mind is evident when we stop the habit of sin. Sometimes a believer may occasionally fall into sin, but God is working in them to chance. Paul said “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6 We should pray: “be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.” Ephesians 6:18 and, if there is an opportunity, restore such a person: “My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth, and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner away from his error will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” James 5:19-20
King David realized immediately after Nathan rebuked him (2 Samuel 12) the enormity of his sin. He had committed adultery and murder (see 2 Samuel 11). He repented (changed his mind) to the depth of his soul. That is why God calls him a man after His own heart (Acts 13:22).
“Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. Surely I have been a sinner from birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.” Psalm 51:4-6
“Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight...” We need to realize how much sin hurts God, whether it is hurting our body, which He lovingly created to be the temple of His Holy Spirit, or is hurting other people whom He loved so much He died to pay the penalty for their sins. God is the Judge we will stand before someday--how much better to confess and forsake our sins now.
To realize the perfection of God’s laws, to see the absolute wisdom and fairness in His commands is a powerful motivator. No one can stand before God and accuse Him of being unfair--“...so that you may be proved right when you speak and justified when you judge...” In fact, His mercy and grace allow Him to be more than fair: “He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” Psalm 103:9-10
“Surely I have been a sinner from birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me...” We were all born with a sinful nature (Romans 7). Only by giving God control of our lives can we hope to overcome “the sin which so easily entangles...” (Hebrews 12:1).
“Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.” God does not just want an outward change; He wants a change deep within. That is the only way there will be a lasting change. Obviously, David had changed deep in his soul. Perhaps he, in pride, had felt that, as king, he had a right to any woman in his kingdom. He did not have respect and love for his men or for women. He changed in many ways as we all do when faced with challenging times in our lives. Most of all, he now had a deep respect for God and His laws.
The Apostle Paul gives a complete explanation of the result of repentance:
"...Your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter." 2 Corinthians 7:9-11
Remorse is repentance without Jesus. Judas Iscariot was so sorry he had betrayed Jesus that he hung himself. He was remorseful, but he didn’t ask Jesus for forgiveness. Genuine repentance is the process of cleansing and inner transformation—becoming holy “for as it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’” 1 Peter 1:16 Leviticus 11:44, 45; 19:2, 20:7; it is much more than feelings of guilt or just being sorry for our transgressions as important as that is.
A person who is truly repentant has an earnestness, an eagerness to clear himself, indignation, alarm, concern, and a readiness to see justice done. Like King David, they agree with God on the enormity of their sin. They desire to do something about it by seeking God and His solution.
James gives another good definition of repentance:
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." James 4:7-10
When a person humbles himself, God will forgive. God even forgave the wicked king, Ahab, when he humbled himself, though it was not a lasting repentance. The Lord told Elijah: “Have you noticed how Ahab has humbled himself before me? Because he has humbled himself, I will not bring this disaster in his day, but I will bring it on his house in the days of his son.” 1 Kings 21:29
Sometimes the only way to get rid of a sin is to experience the consequences. Thank goodness the Lord "disciplines those he loves." Proverbs 3:12 Hebrews 12:6
God even forgave the horrible sins of Manasseh, king of Judah, when he humbled himself after severe consequences:
“In his distress he sought the favor of the Lord his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers. And when he prayed to him, the Lord was moved by his entreaty and listened to his plea; so that he brought him back to Jerusalem and to his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the Lord is God…He got rid of the foreign gods and removed the image from the temple of the LORD, as well as all the altars he had built on the temple hill and in Jerusalem; and he threw them out of the city. Then he restored the altar of the LORD and sacrificed fellowship offerings and thank offerings on it, and told Judah to serve the LORD, the God of Israel.” 2 Chronicles 33:12-13, 15-16 This was a lasting repentance--Manasseh had changed.
Besides the ongoing consequences of sin, God will not answer prayer in portions of a person’s life until there is repentance: “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened;” Psalm 66:18 However, God always answers prayer of sincere repentance: “…Give ear to my prayer-- it does not arise from deceitful lips. “ Psalm 17:1
Satan has been given the legal right to control our lives in areas where there is no repentance: “…the whole world is under the control of the evil one.” 1 John 5:19 We are open to curses--the curse of God because of disobedience and any curse that an evil force wants to put upon us.
However, no curse can come upon us unless there is sin: “Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse does not come to rest.” Proverbs 26:2 Satan does not have the right to harm us when we obey the Lord, when we repent of sin.
To repent of any sin is to change our mind about that sin. We need to realize how much sin harms God, others and ourselves; we need to place blame where it belongs--ourselves; and we need to change our actions in order to give proof to God, others and ourselves of the sincerity of our repentance. When we have done that, God will freely forgive.
Then we can accept His forgiveness and give Him praise.
We can ask forgiveness and repent anytime: “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him...” Psalm 103:8-11
God took many years to work out the repentance of Jacob. Jacob came from a rich heritage. Isaac, Jacob's father, had submitted when his father Abraham was going to sacrifice him as a burnt offering. God showed Abraham a ram caught in the thicket to sacrifice instead, but Abraham and Isaac had passed the test and proved their faith in God (Genesis 22:1-19). Rebekah, Jacob's mother, had left her homeland to marry a man she had never seen because she knew it was God who had arranged her marriage (Genesis 24) She was a woman of kindness and courage.
However, their marriage had deteriorated. Isaac did not have discernment and favored his older son, Esau (Genesis 25:28), who cared nothing for God. Rebekah, who was told that the older would serve the younger before her sons were born (Genesis 25:21-26), used deception in order to have Jacob get the blessing which should have gone to the firstborn (Genesis 27). Jacob (whose name meant “deceives”) had already manipulated Esau out of his birthright (Genesis 25:29-34). For his part in the sin Esau had sold his birthright to Jacob showing how unimportant it was to him. Perhaps by this action he had given the devil a legal right to take his blessing.
Now Jacob had to escape Esau's planned revenge (Genesis 27:41-28:5). Rebekah, for her part in the deception, pronounced a curse on herself and died without seeing Jacob again.
Jacob had to flee to his uncle Laban, his mother's brother,--a master deceiver. On his way there, God appeared to him and reaffirmed the covenant He had made with Abraham and Isaac (Genesis 28:10-22).
Laban deceived Jacob into taking his older daughter, Leah, as a wife along with his younger daughter, Rachel, whom Jacob loved (Genesis 29:14-30). Now Jacob learned how it felt to be a victim of deception. This deception caused years of unhappy struggling between the two sisters (Genesis 29:30-30:24) compounded by Jacob's favoring Rachel and her children, a sin from which he seemed never to have repented.
This time was also fraught with the struggle between Laban and Jacob over the wages Laban was to give Jacob who was caring for his sheep (Genesis 30:25-43). Here again Jacob resorted to superstition and deception in order to get his way. However, God blessed Jacob because of His covenant and perhaps because of Laban's greater wickedness. Jacob acknowledged that blessing (Genesis 31:42).
God told Jacob to return to his native land. Leah and Rachel confirmed his choice, and Jacob left without telling Laban (Genesis 31:1-21). Laban pursued Jacob. However, God intervened and they made a treaty and each went on his way (Genesis 31:22-55).
Now Jacob had to face his brother Esau whom he learned was coming with 400 men. He sent his family and peace offerings on ahead and spent the night in prayer. He had not realized the seriousness of his deceiving nature.
It must have been confusing. Deception had seemingly worked for him. Because of deceit in his heart he secured the birthright that should have been Esau’s. Under his mother’s influence, he had used deception to secure God's blessing. Later, it appeared deception worked to increase his flocks. It is like the child who steals candy from the store without getting caught and is rewarded by his friends’ appreciation. Deception seems to work.
Now he had to deal with the fact that this evil was coming upon him because of his deception. God had to deal with him. That night was a major night of repentance when Jacob wrestled with God. God changed his name from Jacob (deceives) to Israel (which means “he struggles with God) because he had struggled with God (and with his sin nature) and had overcome (Genesis 32:28).
Esau came in peace, one of many blessings that were a result of his repentance. ("When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him." Proverbs 16:7). Jacob (now Israel) was no longer a deceiver, but the father of many nations, a man who wrested with God in prayer and won.
The Greek words for reconciliation are: katallasso--”...to change from enmity to friendship, to reconcile”; Apokatallasso--”a stronger form of katallasso, to change from one condition to another, so as to leave all enmity and leave no impediment to unity and peace”; Diallasso “to effect an alternation, to exchange, and hence, to reconcile, in cases of mutual hostility yielding to mutual concession.” Vine’s Expository Dictionary
We needed to be reconciled to God. Jesus made reconciliation possible by dying to pay the penalty for our sins. “But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
Our relationship with man is affected by our relationship with God; our relationship with God is affected by our relationship with man. We must be reconciled with each other. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24
“... Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry...” Ephesians 4:26b If we have offended someone or someone has offended us, we must resolve the conflict as soon as possible. ”In your anger do not sin’...” Ephesians 4:26a To harbor a grudge is sin (“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people...” Leviticus 19:18). The devil will use our anger (“...do not give the devil a foothold”) to cause a “bitter root” to grow that will “defile many.” Hebrews 12:15 We must repent, which involves doing what we can to bring reconciliation.
Repentance can lead to reconciliation. For example, Jews needed to repent of their attitude to the Gentiles before they could be reconciled to each other. God wanted to reconcile Himself with the Gentiles through the Jews. He wanted to open the door to presenting the gospel to the Gentiles: “...God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Colossians 1:27 God had always allowed Gentiles into His salvation if they repented and turned to him (consider Rahab--Joshua 2-6 Matthew 1:5 Hebrews 11:31 James 2:25 Ruth--the book of Ruth Matthew 1:5; Naaman--2 Kings 5 Luke 4:27)
Jews were so prejudiced against Gentiles that Peter, the Jewish apostle, had to have a vision repeated three times (Acts 10:10) before realizing God was serious in His desire to save the Gentiles, that He had
Reconciliation involves action. Peter had to act on his vision. He had to follow the Spirit’s leading to the house of Cornelius, a God-fearing Gentile. Then he had to go up to Jerusalem and explain precisely what had happened to the other Jewish believers.
* RESTORATION, RESTITUTION OR REQUIRED ACTION
Nehemiah confronted the nobles and officials because they are exacting usury from their fellow Jews and causing some of them to go into slavery. ‘“We will give it back,’ they said. ‘And we will not demand anything more. We will do as you say.’” Nehemiah 5:12 The nobles and officials made restitution.
The Greek word for “restoration” is apokatastasis, from apo meaning “back, again and kathistem--to set in order.” Peter says to the onlookers: “He (Jesus) must remain in heaven until the time comes for God to restore everything...”Acts 3:21 The word "restore" is the same word used for restitution. In English usage restitution has the further meaning of making good any loss, damage or injury. Restitution (restoring, setting in order, making good any loss, damage or injury) demonstrates that there has been repentance.
Repentance and reconciliation often require restoration or restitution. Restitution is necessary to restore relationships. When there is any dishonesty, there is a loss of trust and respect. Sometimes this can never be regained, but a truly repentant person will do all he can to bring healing to people he has hurt.
Zacchaeus voluntarily made restitution fourfold. He told Jesus: “‘Look, Lord! Here and now I give half my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” Luke 19:8
Zacchaeus knew that the Law required that the penalty for fraud was to pay in full and add one fifth:
“…If anyone sins and is unfaithful to the Lord by deceiving his neighbor about something entrusted to him or left in his care or stolen, or if he cheats him, or if he finds lost property and lies about it. Or if he swears falsely, or if he commits any such sin that people may do—when he thus sins and becomes guilty, he must return what he has stolen or taken by extortion, or what is entrusted to him, or the lost property he found, or whatever it was he swore falsely about. He must make restitution in full, add a fifth of the value to it and give it to the owner on the day he presents his guilt offering.” Leviticus 6:1-5
However, Zacchaeus went beyond the required restitution and vowed to pay fourfold—the price for stealing a sheep: “If a man steals an ox or a sheep and slaughters it or sells it, he must pay back five head of cattle and four sheep for the sheep.” Exodus 22:1 He loved Jesus so much, he was willing to do all he could to bring healing to the people he had hurt.
Jesus said to him: “Today salvation has come to this house...” Luke 19:9 Jesus knew and we know that his heart was changed when Zacchaeus showed himself to be truly repentant.
Sometimes, under Old Testament Law, a thief had to pay back seven times the amount taken: “Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay back sevenfold, though it cost him all the wealth of his house.” Proverbs 6:30-31 We can understand why someone steals when he is starving. But sometimes, the thief is excused with little or no consequence or even given help. Especially, as Christians, we think we are applying God’s mercy when, in fact, we are enabling the sinner to continue in his sin. We can understand but should not excuse sin unless God is directing us to do so.
God required a sevenfold punishment of the unrepentant Israelites:
"“But if you will not listen to me and carry out all my commands, and if you reject my decrees and abhor my laws and fail to carry out all my commands and so violate my covenant, then I will do this to you; I will bring upon you sudden terror, wasting diseases and fever that will destroy your sight and drain your life. You will plant seeds in vain, because your enemies will eat them. I will set my face against you so that you will be defeated by your enemies; those who hate you will rule over you, and you will flee even when no one is pursuing you. If after all this you will not listen to me, I will punish you for your sins seven times over...If you remain hostile toward me and refuse to listen to me, I will multiply your sins seven times over, as your sins deserve...If in spite of these things you do not accept my correction but continue to be hostile toward me, I myself will be hostile toward you and will afflict you for your sins seven times over...If in spite of this you still do not listen to me but continue to be hostile toward me, then in my anger I will be hostile toward you, and I myself will punish you for your sins seven times over...I will scatter you among the nations and will draw out my sword and pursue you. Your land will be laid waste and your cities will lie in ruins. Then the land will enjoy its sabbath years (every seven years the land was not to be planted, but to lie in rest) all the time that it lies desolate...” Leviticus 26:14-35
We live under grace instead of Law since Jesus came. We also each have the power of the Holy Spirit. We have direct access to God. We need to ask God and He will let us know what restitution is required in each instance.
The laws of our land impose a penalty when crime is committed as a deterrent from committing the same crime again. Restitution varies according to the crime. We should pray that our justice system applies God’s wisdom.
What should we do if we are the one to whom something wrong has been done?
(1 We may be able to forgive without confrontation: “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11
(2 We need God’s wisdom before we rebuke someone. It would not do any good and maybe even cause harm to rebuke some people: ” Whoever corrects a mocker brings on insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse. Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.” Proverbs 9:7-9
(3 Some people need to be rebuked for their good or for our good, but at the proper time and in the proper way. In seeking for repentance and reconciliation, the general rule is: “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18 “...Speaking the truth in love...” Ephesians 4:15 is the best way.
Sometimes we are required to confront someone: “Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke
your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.” Leviticus 19:17
The nobles and officials made restitution because Nehemiah confronted them (Nehemiah 5). Nehemiah had the courage and wisdom to speak “...the truth in love...” Ephesians 4:15
“Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man’s rebuke to a listening ear.” Proverbs 25:12 A wise man’s rebuke brings healing to everyone involved.
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” Proverbs 27:5 Sometimes a rebuke is a sign of love. It takes courage to confront in a meaningful manner: “The kisses of an enemy may be profuse, but faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Proverbs 27:6
“All Scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” 2 Timothy 3:16-17 One of the uses of the Bible is for rebuking. When Scripture is used the offender knows God is speaking: “The word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12
“...Rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith.” Titus 1:13 Occasionally a pastor must rebuke his congregation. More often an individual needs to be rebuked. Sometimes a person cannot see his sin clearly until he is rebuked. For example, Nathan had to rebuke David (2 Samuel 12) before he could see his sin and repent.
“...Encourage and rebuke with all authority...” Titus 2:15 Encouraging and rebuking are linked together--both are important.
We must gently instruct when that is possible to bring the desired result: "And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:24-26
We should be kind, especially to our elders: “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” 1 Timothy 5:1
When we have to confront someone the Bible gives us guidelines:
If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established with the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matthew 18:15-18
“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault...” Notice that this concerns your brother, a fellow Christian. He has sinned against you. You are to take the initiative to confront him.
“Just between the two of you...”--this is where most of us fall short. “A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor...” Proverbs 11:13 “With his mouth the godless destroy his neighbor...” Proverbs 11:9 We can really damage a person by talking about him, and it may not even be true! “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9 Our goal should be the same as God’s--to bring peace, righteousness and love. “If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” This is the ideal situation. Often, there is greater understanding and friendship after this confrontation.
“But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established with the testimony of two or three witnesses.’” The Old Testament says, “One witness is not enough to convict a man accused of any crime or offense he has committed. A matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” Deuteronomy 19:15
The Bible even gives clear direction about who the witnesses are that come along.
"If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints? Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life!” 1 Corinthians 6:1-3
Christians are to be the witnesses. They are preparing for the day when they will judge angels: “If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints? Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life! Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church!” 1 Corinthians 6:1-4
“If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church;” Matthew 18:17b The church is made up of believers in Jesus Christ. Usually this would be the local congregation. “and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matthew 18:17b To the Jews a pagan was someone with whom you were to have no contact.
If someone sins against you: Go, by yourself, and confront him. If he doesn’t repent, take two or three fellow Christians to establish your testimony. If he still does not repent tell it to the church. If he still does not repent, do not fellowship with him. At this point, the church might also have to discipline him.
(4 Sometimes an offender must be disciplined. One way we are required to discipline is to “...treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matthew 18:17
For a serious offense, the church might have to discipline: “When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 6:4-5
Often discipline is the most loving thing we can do. God disciplines those He loves: “...My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” Hebrews 12:5-6
Samson is an example of someone whom the Lord loved and had to discipline. Samson had been set apart to God from birth (Judges 13:5; 7; 25). The Spirit of the Lord had come upon him in power several times in his fight against the Philistines (Judges 14: 6, 19; 15:14; 15:19).
However, Samson had a major failing. He liked Philistine women. The Lord had commanded the Israelites not to marry foreign women (Exodus 34:15-16 Deuteronomy 7:1-4 Judges 3:4-5). Samson did not seem to think the Lord meant what He said. He planned to marry a Philistine woman (Judges 14-15:8), visited a Philistine prostitute--probably one example of several instances (Judges 16:1-3)--and, finally, fell in love with Delilah (Judges 16:4-22).
The Philistine rulers went to Delilah and said they would pay eleven hundred shekels of silver, an extraordinary generous payment, if she could lure Samson into telling her the secret of his great strength. Because Samson had taken himself out from under the Lord's protection he fell for what should have been obvious: "So he told her everything. 'No razor has ever been used on my head,' he said, because I have been a Nazirite, set apart to God since birth. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as any other man." Judges 16:17
Having put him to sleep on her lap, she called in a man to shave off the seven braids of his hair. When she called that the Philistines were upon him, he awoke from his sleep and thought that he would shake himself free as he had done before: "...But he did not know that the Lord had left him." Judges 16:20
"A man who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed without remedy." Proverbs 29:1 Samson was in this situation. God had to punish him severely. The Philistine rulers seized him, gouged out his eyes and took him to Gaza, a Philistine city where he had displayed great strength, to grind corn.
God planned his physical punishment as a spiritual blessing. Samson spent many hours alone grinding flour. God had Samson in a place where all he could do was think about what he had lost and why he had lost it. “But the hair on his head began to grow...” Judges 16:22. His hair was the symbol of his relationship with God and the power of God. All he could do was think about his relationship with God (if he had not been a true child of God, he would have chosen to curse God). That relationship, like his hair, began to grow.
The Philistine rulers assembled to offer a great sacrifice to their god, Dagon, because he had delivered Samson into their hands. When they brought Samson out to "entertain" them, they stood him among the pillars that supported a temple crowded with men and women. Then Samson prayed to the Lord: "O Sovereign Lord, remember me. O God, please strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes." Judges 16:28
Bracing himself against the two pillars and pushing with all his might, he said, "Let me die with the Philistines." Judges16:30 He came back into the anointing of God in such strength that “...he killed many more when he died than while he lived.” Judges 16:30 Discipline brought Samson into a closer relationship with God than he had ever been. He brought more glory to God in his death than his life.
Before we enter into giving discipline, we must make sure we are in a right relationship with God: “But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment. When we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be condemned with the world.” 1 Corinthians 11:31-32 Let us make sure we recognize the discipline of the Lord and correct ourselves.
(5 Sometimes we have done all we can and there is no repentance, no reconciliation. Remember that, even God tries to correct people, but sometimes they will not listen:
"Wisdom calls aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the public squares; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out, in the gateways of the city she makes her speech: ‘How long will you simple ones love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge? If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you. But since you rejected me when I called and no one gave heed when I stretched out my hand, since you ignored all my advice and would not accept my rebuke, I in turn will laugh at your disaster; I will mock when calamity overtakes you..." Proverbs 1:20-33
After we have done everything possible and there is no repentance, we must leave it in God’s hands knowing we have done our part.
Forgiveness must come with repentance in order to bring reconciliation and restoration.
Forgive means “to give up the wish to punish or get even with; not have hard feelings at or toward; pardon; excuse” The World Book Dictionary
The Greek words for forgive are: aphieni-- (verb) to remit or forgive debts or sins; charizoma-- (verb) to bestow a favor unconditionally, is used in the act of forgiveness, whether divine...or human; apoluo--to loose from...release; aphesis-- (noun) denotes a dismissal, release.
Involved in repentance is accepting God’s forgiveness. Judas was sorry for his sin and even tried to make restitution (Matthew 27:3-10), but he did not ask God’s forgiveness.
In the following passage involving forgiveness, Jesus is telling His disciples that the Father is sending them to tell the gospel as He has sent Jesus: “If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” John 20:23 “God does not forgive people’s sins because we do so, nor does he withhold forgiveness because we do. Rather, those who proclaim the gospel are in effect forgiving or not forgiving sins, depending on whether the hearers accept or reject Jesus Christ.” NIV Study Bible
God desires that all men should know Him. "...He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9. He will never turn anyone away: “...Jesus declared...whoever comes to me I will never drive away.” John 6:35-37
God requires us to accept His example of forgiveness: “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you your sins. Matthew 6:12-15 God will not forgive us our sins if we do not forgive others their sins against us.
This same principle is taught in the parable Jesus told (Matthew 18:23-35) about a king who forgave one of his servants a huge amount of money. That servant would not forgive one of his fellow servants and had him thrown into prison until he could pay. When the king found out about it, he said, “You wicked servant...I canceled your debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you? In anger his master turned him over to the jailors to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how your heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart. Matthew 18:32-35
It could be interpreted that the jailors who torture the unmerciful servant are demons that an unforgiving person allows in by his unforgiveness. We are tormented when we hold any bitterness against another.
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25 This implies that God will not hear our prayers if we hold unforgiveness.
“One of the marks of a disciple is willingness to forgive. Sin is not to be over-looked, nor lightly passed over; the wrongdoer must be rebuked, his sin must be discussed to his face and not behind his back. Repentance must precede forgiveness. But subject to these conditions there no limit to the times forgiveness ought to be extended.” The New Layman’s Bible Commentary p. 1285
Much of our unforgiveness comes from hypocritical judging: “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37 If we do not want to be judged, condemned or have others hold our sins against us, we must not judge, condemn or harbor unforgiveness.
Also, our unforgiveness may be caused by our not handling the situation properly. If we do not rebuke our brother, he may not be aware that he has sinned against us: “So watch yourselves. ‘If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.’” Luke 17:3 If someone repents and confesses, his sin must be forgiven and not held against him.
“Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.” Leviticus 19:17
"Our forgiveness of one another is to be patterned after the way God forgives us. From His example, we learn that while our love for others needs to be unconditional, there is a place for conditional forgiveness. Whether or not we consider an offense a 'dead issue' will be determined by whether the offending party is willing to own up to the wrong. Christ like love makes it necessary sometimes to withhold forgiveness until the one who has done the harm admits responsibility for it (Luke 17:1-4)." The Forgiveness Of God by Martin R. De Haan II
We are to pray for a person who has not repented, but we might need to withhold fellowship or other services, which we would give to someone who has repented.
“Human forgiveness is to be strictly analogous to Divine forgiveness, e.g. Matt. 6:12. If certain conditions are fulfilled, there is no limitation to Christ’s law of forgiveness. Matt. 18:21, 22 The conditions are repentance and confession, Matt. 18:15-17 Luke 17:3" Vine’s Expository Dictionary
"Make every effort to live at peace with all men and to be holy..." Hebrews 12:14 If we live the way God wants us to, we will live at peace with others even though there cannot be a fully restored relationship with some individuals. We need the Lord's help to change us so that we have forgiving hearts. Then He will handle the rest: "When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him." Proverbs 16:17
"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:18 We are to do all that we can, under the Lord's direction, to live at peace with everyone.
Recognizing our sins and realizing how they hurt God is the first step toward repentance. In the last days, just before Jesus comes back, “because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold,” Matthew 24:12 People will lose their ability is recognize sin and their love toward God because of the influence of others.
We are greatly affected by those around us, especially our friends and those we try to please: “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25 We must fear God and nothing else.
The book of Proverbs gives a good example of how others influence us: “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.” Proverbs 22:24-25 God is commanding us to not be friends with a hot-tempered man. We should ask God if there are any “friends” with whom we should not be too closely associated. In fact, God commands us not to be ”yoked together” or legally or spiritually bonded to anyone who is not a believer. “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever. " 2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Solomon turned away from serving God because of the influence of his wives! “As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been.” 1 Kings 11:4
Ultimately, our behavior is up to us, and we cannot blame anyone else for our failures: “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.” Psalm 1:1-2 If we store God’s word in our hearts so that we can continually live by what we know is true, we guard our hearts--making sure we obey God even in our thinking and inner most being: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23
However, because we cannot always see our sins clearly, we need to be accountable to others. We need people around us that know the Lord, sincerely love us, are wise and are not afraid to speak the truth.
Paul was such a friend to the Corinthians. First, he tells them to be careful of the company they are keeping: “Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." 1 Corinthians 15:33 Then he rebukes them: “Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God--I say this to your shame.” 1 Corinthians 15:34 He sounds harsh, but what he says is for their good and is needed: “He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.” Proverbs 28:23
In fact, having such friends is one of the greatest joys of life: “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.” Proverbs 27:9
The greater the battle, the more wise advisors are needed: “A wise man has great power, and a man of knowledge increases strength; for waging war you need guidance, and for victory many advisers.” Proverbs 24:5-6 Many people led by the Spirit of God to give guidance brings victory.\: “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22
God commands us to rely on others. He commands the church to meet together: “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:25 God wants us to be accountable to one another so we recognize when we are sinning. God wants us to encourage one another, especially when wickedness increases. God wants us to love each other and fulfill each others needs.:. “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” Psalm 133:1 God’s heart is unity, and it is difficult to have unity if we do not communicate and understand one another.
God wants all people to repent. He “…wants all men to be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:4 He wants people that have accepted His free gift of love to be reconciled. God’s joy is made complete when we love each other and work together to bring His kingdom and love to all men: “Make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” Philippians 2:2
If Christians were reconciled to each other, they will work together to reconcile unbelievers to God: “...He has committed to us the message of reconciliation.” 2 Corinthians 5:19 because “…’As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways…” Ezekiel 33:11 God loved mankind so much that He took the first step and sent His only Son to die so they could be restored to fellowship with Him: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16.
God’s desire is that men love as He loves. A basic requirement of that love is repentance. Repentance involves reconciliation, restoration or restitution, and accepting and extending forgiveness. He gives us clear direction: pray and receive His help and wisdom, confront if necessary, make restitution if we are the offender, and forgive if we have been offended.
God wants us to love Him with all that we are and have: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37 He wants us to “...Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:39 If we love the Lord with all our hearts we will love our neighbor as ourselves and show this by our actions and repent when we have not. Those two commands are all that we need to guide us. Sometimes we need great wisdom and guidance in specific situations, but God has promised us wisdom if we are His children and obey His commands: “Blessed are they who ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord. Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all their hearts.” Psalm 119:1-2 He has promised us joy. Joy comes when we are in a right relationship with Him.
THE IMPORTANCE OF REPENTANCE
1. What is repentance? How does the Bible define repentance (2 Corinthians 7:9-12 James 4:7-10). How do we know when someone has repented?
2. What caused David to repent of his sin? What kind of a man was Nathan? What example does this situation give us?
3. Psalm 51 is a psalm of David's repentance. How can we see David's change of mind?
4. Why is Manasseh, king if Judah, a good example of God's grace (2 Chronicles 33:1-20)?
THE EXAMPLE OF JACOB
1. What factors contributed to Jacob having a deceiving nature?
2. How did Jacob deceive Esau into giving him first his birthright, then his blessing? What did this show about Esau? What did it show about Jacob?
3. What did God do in order to bring about Jacob's repentance?
4. Give an example of your own repentance or the repentance of others in some area.
RECONCILIATION
1. What is reconciliation?
2. How does our relationship with God affect our relationship with God and visa versa?
3. What does it mean to "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry" Ephesians 4:26?
4. How did God bring about the reconciliation between the Jews and Gentiles?
5. Do you have any instances of reconciliation that you could share?
RESTORATION
1. What is restoration or restitution?
2. What did the nobles and officials do when Nehemiah confronted them about exacting usury from their fellow Jews?
3. What restitution did Zacchaeus make? What did it show?
4. How much restitution did the Law demand?
5. When is restitution necessary? How much restitution is necessary?
CONFRONTATION
1. When and why should we confront someone that has sinned against us?
2. What are the steps to godly confrontation?
3. When and why should a church discipline someone?
4. Why do you think Samson did not see the seriousness of liking Philistine women? What can we equate that with today?
5. Why do you think the Spirit of the Lord left Samson?
6. What clues are there that Samson repented?
7. What should we do if we have done all we can to bring about repentance and reconciliation?
FORGIVENESS
1. Why should we forgive?
2. What hindrances are there to forgiveness?
3. What is conditional forgiveness?
4. How can we forgive?
ACCOUNTABILITY
1. Why should we be accountable to others?
2. To whom should we be accountable?
3. Give examples, from your own life or the Bible, of the influence of others for good or for bad.
4. What are some reasons God would command the church (believers in Jesus) to meet together often?
