{"id":5701,"date":"2008-06-18T17:33:00","date_gmt":"2008-06-18T17:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"\/Bible-Studies\/Divorce-&-Remarriage.aspx"},"modified":"2008-06-18T17:33:00","modified_gmt":"2008-06-18T17:33:00","slug":"divorce-remarriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hisriches.com\/divorce-remarriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorce & Remarriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

* GOD’S VIEW OF DIVORCE
\n<\/strong><\/em>* VIEWS CONCERNING THE EXCEPTIONAL CLAUSE<\/em><\/strong>
\n* REMARRIAGE<\/em><\/strong>
\n*<\/strong><\/em> QUESTIONS & ANSWERS 
\n<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

* GOD’S VIEW OF DIVORCE<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

"The Pharisees came and asked Him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’ testing Him. And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?’ They said ‘Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.’ And Jesus answered and said to them, ‘Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of creation, God "made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh"; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh." Mark 10:2\u20118 
\n<\/strong>           
\nIn Jesus’ time divorce was as controversial a subject as it is today. There were three schools of interpretation of Jewish law concerning divorce. Their debate centered around their interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1-4 <\/strong>where Moses gave permission for divorce in case of uncleanness or a thing offensive (ervah). In the New Testament Jesus called this uncleanness, fornication–porneia<\/em>.
\n 
\nFollowers of Shammai said that a man could not divorce his wife unless he found something unchaste about her. Followers of Hillel defined uncleanness as a minor fault. Followers of Akiba, the most liberal rabbi, said that any wife who found no favor in her husband’s eyes was unclean.
\n 
\nThe Pharisees came to Jesus and asked him a question to test Him. In His answer Jesus showed His perfect wisdom: "The way Jesus responded to the Pharisees shows us what our own attitude toward marriage and divorce should be:" Love Life<\/em> by Ed. Wheat He ignored their bickering and excuses for divorce, He focused on Scripture as the only authority, and He went back to God’s original plan. God’s original plan for marriage was stated in Genesis 2:24<\/strong>. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."<\/strong> A person must first leave his family, and this must be recognized by society. The person must cleave to his mate or be bound toget­her in one solitary unit. They must become one flesh. "Becoming one flesh does not in and of itself make a marriage…However there is no sexual intercourse which does not result in two people becoming one flesh (1 Cor. 6:16<\/strong>)!" The Divorce Myth<\/em> by J. Carl Lancy “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh.’” 1 Corinthians 6:16<\/strong>
\n 
\nGod sees marriage as a covenant relationship: "It<\/strong> (wisdom) will save you also from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God." Proverbs 2:16-17<\/strong> When He is speaking allegorically to Israel about His relationship with her, He tells her that He has entered into a marriage relationship with her: "Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine." Ezekiel 16:8<\/strong> In this passage marriage and covenant are put together as they are when Ruth asked Boaz to marry her: "Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer." Ruth 3:9 <\/strong>
\n 
\nGod does not break covenants: “But for their sake I will remember the covenant I made with their ancestors whom I brought out of Egypt in the sight of the nations to be their God. I am the Lord.” Leviticus 26:45 <\/strong>Nor does God take the breaking of a covenant lightly: “But if you do not listen to me and carry out all these commands, and if you reject my decrees and abhor my laws and fail to carry out all my commands and so violate my covenant, then I will do this to you: I will bring upon you sudden terror, wasting disease and fever that will destroy your sight and drain away your life…” Leviticus 24:14-16<\/strong> Marriage is a voluntary agreement, which is made before God to be a binding covenant.
\n 
\n"So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not men separate." Matthew 19:6<\/strong> "For any individual to try to separate what God Himself has joined together is an act of arrogant defiance against the express will of God. Anyone who chooses to do this must live with the result of his action." Love Life<\/em> by Ed. Wheat
\n 
\nGod allowed divorce in the time of Moses (Deuteronomy 24:1\u20114<\/strong>) because of man’s hardness of heart. Because man lacked compassion and insisted on having his own way instead of following God’s plan, divorce was allowed. It protected the women who were being stranded because of the practice of simply leaving an unsatisfactory wife. However, it was not His original plan, and Jesus reaffirmed that plan.
\n 
\nAnother example of God allowing something that was not His will was when He allowed Israel to have a king. Their desire to have a king to be like the other nations showed that they rejected God, and they suffered the consequences of disobedience (1 Samuel 8:7\u20119<\/strong>, 18<\/strong>).
\n 
\n"For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce," Malachi 2:16<\/strong> There is no time when God wants divorce. He expects us to have unconditional love for our mates such as Hosea had when he bought back his wife, Gomer, who had become a prostitute (Hosea 3:1<\/strong>) or as God Himself had when He gave His son to die for faithless mankind. If we loved our mates as Christ does, we would be willing to die for them no matter how they treat us. 
\n 
\nDivorce is always a sin, although sometimes a person is divorced against their will. Perhaps God even commends some people for having tried to hold a difficult marriage together. Only God who knows the hearts and circumstance of each individual case is capable of making a completely accurate judgment.
\n <\/p>\n

Divorce is never an acceptable solution. However, sometimes separation is necessary, for instance, when our life or the lives of our children are in danger. The Bible addresses the possibility of separation: "Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord, a wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife." 1 Corinthians 7:10-11<\/strong> Separation allows for the possibility of reconciliation while divorce is a final rejection. People who are doing their best to hold a difficult marriage together should be supported with prayer and encouragement.
\n 
\nThree times in the New Testament Genesis 2:24<\/strong> is quoted. Ephesians 5:31-32<\/strong> is one of these times: “‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning the church.”<\/strong> In the passages surrounding this verse, Paul is talking about the relationship between husbands and wives. He equates this to Christ’s relationship with the church. One of the strongest reasons for God’s hatred of divorce is because the marriage relationship is to represent Christ’s relationship with the church. By clouding this image neither the church nor the world can understand the love of God. Divorce defiles the Holy image of God’s character and plan.
\n 
\nAnother reason God hates divorce is He is “…seeking godly offspring.”<\/strong> Often people do not realize the magnitude with which divorce will hurt their children. “Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, ‘Why?’ It is because the Lord is acting as a witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she was your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he is seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.” Malachi 2:13-15 <\/strong>
\n 
\nBesides showing the Lord’s concern for the children of a marriage relationship, this passage points out that sometimes our prayers are not answered because we have broken faith with our marriage partner. It also warns us to guard our “spirit”<\/strong>:  <\/span>“Above all else, guard your heart…” Proverbs 4:23<\/strong> Bitterness, discontent, lust—sin—start in the heart or spirit. It is very important to guard against the sin of divorce. In a marriage relationship “divorce” is a word that should never be mentioned or even considered in the heart. 
\n 
\n 
\n* VIEWS CONCERNING THE EXCEPTIONAL CLAUSE
\n<\/strong><\/em> 
\nMatthew 5:32<\/strong> could simply mean that if a man divorces a wife that is not already committing sexual immorality, he causes her to commit sexual immorality: "But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery." <\/strong>
\n 
\nMatthew 19:9<\/strong> also contains the phrase “except for sexual immorality”<\/strong>, which some consider allowing for an exception to the no divorce command.: "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."<\/strong>
\n 
\nSeveral views on the meaning of this “exceptional clause” are discussed in The Divorce Myth<\/em> by J. Carl Lancy and Marriage: Covenant or Contract<\/em> by Craig Hill. Following is a summary of those views.
\n 
\n1. THE ERASMIAN VIEW: This view is widely accepted among Protestants. It holds that Jesus’ words in Matthew 19:9<\/strong> allowed divorce in case of adultery. Many go further to say that Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:15 <\/strong>allowed divorce in the case of desertion.
\n 
\nErasmus, a contemporary of Luther who influenced his thinking on a number of issues including divorce, was later regarded as a heretic.
\n 
\n2. THE PRETERATIVE (passing over) VIEW: Augustine promoted this view. It holds that the Pharisees in trying to trick Jesus into taking sides with one of the schools of thought concerning the meaning of “some indecency”<\/strong> in Deuteronomy 24:1-4<\/strong>, asked Jesus to comment. Jesus bypassed their question (Matthew 19:9<\/strong>) and said that whoever divorces his wife, setting aside the issue of some indecency, commits adultery. With His disciples in private He clarified His meaning, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” Mark 10:11-12<\/strong>
\n 
\nMatthew<\/strong> left out Jesus’ clarification while Mark<\/strong> left out the “exceptional clause” and the disciples’ reaction. However, it is almost certain that Matthew 19:1-12<\/strong> and Mark 10:1-12<\/strong> record the same incident, “Both accounts have the same geographical setting (Matthew 19:1 Mark 10:1<\/strong>), the same audience (Matthew 19:3 Mark 10:2<\/strong>), the same question being asked (Matthew 19:3 Mark 10:2<\/strong>), the same Old Testament quotations (Matthew 19:4<\/strong>-5, 7 Mark 10:4<\/strong>, 6-8<\/strong>), the same reply by the Pharisees (Matthew 19:7 Mark 10:4<\/strong>), the same rebuke by Jesus (Matthew 19:8 Mark 10:5<\/strong>), and the same subsequent incident (Matthew 19:13-15 Mark 10:13-16<\/strong>).  The Divorce Myth<\/em> by J. Carl Laney
\n 
\n3. THE BETROTHAL VIEW: This view holds that the exceptional clause concerned divorce during the betrothal period. In the Jewish culture, a divorce was needed to dissolve an engagement (as illustrated in the case of Mary and Joseph in Matthew 1:18-20<\/strong>). Jesus had to address this possibility or the breaking of engagements might have been understood to be disallowed. The book of Matthew<\/strong> was written to the Jews while Mark<\/strong> and Luke <\/strong>were written primarily to the Greek and Roman cultures, which did not need a divorce for broken engagements.
\n 
\nAn objection to this view is that Jesus was talking about marriage, not engagement.
\n 
\n4. THE CONSANGUINITY VIEW: J. Carl Laney in The Divorce Myth<\/em> explains that Jesus meant by "except for porneia<\/em>"<\/strong> any marriage that was prohibited in Leviticus 18:6\u201118<\/strong> (sexual relations between close relatives).
\n 
\nThis view of the exceptional clause in Matthew<\/strong> can be suppor­ted by the following arguments:
\nFirst, there are problems in stating that sexual immorality means adultery in this exceptional clause. The Greek word for adultery moichea<\/em> means sexual unfaithfulness in the marriage commitment. Porneia<\/em>, the Greek word Jesus used is a much broader term including any unlawful sexual behavior. Its exact meaning depends upon the context in which it is used. Adultery is distinguished from sexual immorality in Matthew 15:19 Mark 7:21<\/strong> and Hebrews 13:4<\/strong>. Jesus would probably have used moichea<\/em> if he had meant adultery.
\n 
\nDivorce because of adultery was not granted in the Old Testament. Adultery was punishable by death (Leviticus 20:10 Deuteronomy 12:22\u201124<\/strong>).        
\n 
\nPorneia<\/em> <\/strong>is interpreted as an incestuous relationship when it is used in 1 Corinthians 5:1<\/strong> referring to a man’s marriage to his father’s wife. Another example of when porneia<\/em> means incestuous relationships is Acts 15:20<\/strong> and 29<\/strong> when certain offenses are forbidden to the Gentile Christians. The order of offenses was changed from what Peter suggested in Acts 15:20<\/strong> to the order given in Leviticus 17<\/strong> and 18<\/strong> before it was sent to the Gentile believers (Acts 15:29<\/strong>).
\n 
\nIn Jewish literature porneia<\/em> was sometimes used to refer to the marriage of near relatives forbidden in Leviticus 18<\/strong>.
\n 
\nSecond, each Gospel writer wrote to a particular audience, which would help explain why Matthew<\/strong> included this teaching while Mark<\/strong> and Luke<\/strong> did not. The problem of Leviticus 18<\/strong> would be understood by Jewish readers to whom Matthew wrote. Possibly, Mark<\/strong> and Luke<\/strong> did not include this exception because it would not be readily understood by Roman and Greek society just as it is not readily understood by our society.
\n 
\nAnother example of each Gospel writer writing to a particular audience is shown in the gospel of Mark<\/strong>. Mark was led by the Holy Spirit to record Jesus’ teaching which applied the same law of divorce and remarriage for both husband and wife because it was common in Roman and Greek society for a wife to divorce her husband. The Jewish law made no provision for the wife divorcing her husband so Matthew did not record the teaching as including wives when he wrote to a Jewish audience.
\n 
\nThird, John the Baptist was executed for speaking out against Herod Antipas who had divorced his wife and married his niece, the former wife of his brother Philip (Matthew 14:3-4<\/strong>). This violated Leviticus 18:16<\/strong> and 20:21<\/strong>. This explains why John made such a strong stand against this marriage and why any such marriage should be dissolved.
\n 
\nThe Pharisees were probably trying to trick Jesus into making a statement that would get him into trouble with Herod Antipas (Matthew 19:3\u20119<\/strong>). But Jesus simply reaffirmed John the Baptist’s teaching without mentioning Herod.
\n 
\nFourth, in the immediate context, the interpretation of porneia<\/em> to mean incestuous relationships would not violate Scriptures’ other teaching concerning the permanency of marriage (Genesis 2:24 Proverbs 2:16-17 Malachi 2:16 Matthew 19:6 Mark 2:2-8 Luke 16:18 1 Corinthians 7:10-13<\/strong>, 39 Ephesians 5:31-32<\/strong>).
\n 
\nScripture cannot contradict Scripture. God gave a definition for marriage in Genesis 2:24<\/strong> of which divorce was not even considered. Mark and Luke’s record of the teaching of Jesus (Mark 10:5-12 Luke 16:18<\/strong>) do not make any exception for divorce. Neither does Paul (Romans 7:2-3 1 Corinthians 7:10-11; 7:39<\/strong>). Even Matthew in Matthew 19:6<\/strong> records Jesus’ explanation of Genesis 2:24 <\/strong>with a clear command to stop severing marriage unions which God has permanently bound together.
\n 
\nFifth, this strict view of porneia would explain the disciples’ reaction: "His disciples said to Him, ‘If such is the case of the man with his wife it is better for a man not to marry.’" Matthew 19:10<\/strong>
\n 
\nSixth, Jesus’ usual pattern of teaching was to rise above the teaching of other groups (Matthew 5:21\u201148<\/strong>). He gave a stricter interpretation of the law and did not simply agree with other schools of thought.
\n 
\nAccording to the consanguinity view any marriage that was sanctioned by God in the first place (any marriage that didn’t violate Leviticus 18:6\u201118<\/strong>) would be binding for life.
\n 
\nIt could be argued that since these incestuous relationships were prohibited in the first place, why did Jesus have to mention them? "But this objection does not hold up under close scrutiny, for the Israelites were commanded not to marry foreign women (Deuteronomy 7:3-4<\/strong>), but when the command was violated in Ezra 9<\/strong> and 10<\/strong>, the unlawful marriages were dissolved. The prohibition would not preclude the possibili­ty of violation and the need to deal with an illegal incestuous situation." The Divorce Myth<\/em> by J. Carl Laney
\n 
\nFollowing are quotes from a few Bible commentaries concerning the “exceptional clause”:
\n“Sexual immorality, or fornication, is generally taken to mean adultery. However, many capable Bible students think it refers only to pre-marital immorality which is discovered after marriage (see Deut. 22:13-21<\/strong>). Others believe it refers to Jewish customs only and that is why the ‘exceptional clause’ is only here in Matthew<\/strong>, the Jewish Gospel.” Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments<\/em>
\n 
\n“Even when permissible, dissolution is apart from divine intention and ideal. The binding nature of marriage does not depend upon human wills or upon acts of persons but upon the original character of the divinely appointed institution of marriage. Consider, for example, Hosea’s response to his adulterous wife (cf. Hos. 3:1-3<\/strong>). New Geneva Study Bible<\/em>
\n 
\n“Some practices are lawful but not biblical, so follow the principles given in Scripture. God’s original plan was one man for one woman for all of life (Gen. 2:18-25<\/strong>), but He made a concession for Israel and permitted divorce (Deut. 24:1-4<\/strong>). Divorce is not given as the solution to the problem. It takes a change of heart for two people to make a new beginning and only Jesus can change hearts.”  With the Word Bible Commentary<\/em>
\n 
\n“The discussion of divorce followed appropriately on the heels of Jesus’ remarks about the merits of boundless forgiveness (18:21-35<\/strong>). What better way to lead into the topic of commitment? Jesus didn’t ignore the problems and failures of human relationships. Those very shortcomings are what make forgiveness—and commitment—crucial.”  Word in Life Bible Study<\/em>
\n 
\nThe early church fathers held that divorce was a sin and not according to God’s plan. If divorce did occur remarriage was forbidden even if immorality was involved. Today many evangelicals consider allowing divorce and remarriage in the case of adultery an unquestionable interpretation. The lax morals of our society are the result.
\n 
\n 
\n* REMARRIAGE
\n<\/strong><\/em>           
\nThe Bible allows remarriage when one partner dies.
\n"For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man." Romans 7:2-3 <\/strong>If the husband is still alive, the woman who marries another man is an adulteress.
\n"A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 7:39<\/strong> If the husband dies a woman is free to marry another man. However, he has to be a believer. If her husband is not dead, she is bound to her husband.
\n 
\nThe Bible does not allow remarriage in any other circumstance. Jesus states:
\n"whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" Matthew 19:9
\n"Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." Mark 10:11-12
\n<\/strong>"Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery." Luke 16:18
\n<\/strong>“Already He had shown that for a man to divorce his wife was a sin; but what He affirmed now was that if, additionally, that a man married another woman, he made himself an adulterer.” New Layman’s Bible Commentary<\/em><\/p>\n

In the Old Testament the divorced and remarried woman is called defiled: “…after she has been defiled…” Deuteronomy 24:4
\n<\/strong> 
\nPaul expands on the commands of Jesus:
\n"Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord, a wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If a brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him." 1 Corinthians 7:10-13 
\n<\/strong>When Paul says "…I command, yet not I but the Lord…"1 Corinthians 10:10<\/strong> he is referring to Jesus’ statement: "…Therefore what God has joined together let man not separate." Matthew 19:6 Mark 10:9<\/strong>. When Paul says "…I, not the Lord…" I Corinthians 7:12 <\/strong>he, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, is still speaking the command of the Lord. Christians are not to leave their unbelieving spouses.
\n 
\nPaul says in 1 Corinthians 7:15<\/strong>: "But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace."
\n<\/strong>Some people and commentaries interpret "not under bondage" <\/strong>to mean that a person in such a circumstance is free to remarry. However, this passage doesn’t mention remarriage. Let us be careful not to add to Scripture.
\n 
\nThis passage simply says that if an unbelieving spouse wants to depart from the marriage, the Christian is not obligated to keep the marriage together. After having lovingly done his best to preserve the marriage, the Christian should let the unbeliever depart in peace.
\n 
\nAlthough the unbeliever divorces the Christian, it does not mean they are divorced in God’s eyes. (Matthew 19:6 Mark 10:9<\/strong>). In this case the Christian must remain unmarried or be reconciled to his mate (1 Corinthians 7:11<\/strong>).
\n 
\nIt is clear from the Bible that divorce and remarriage is a sin. Yet the compromising of many Christian leaders clouds this fact: “When Christian pastors and leaders authorize and condone the remarriage of divorced Christians, they are aiding Satan in misrepresenting the image and character of God. In our desire to extend short-term mercy and grace to individuals, we are releasing long-term wholesale destruction of our children and grandchildren.” Marriage: Covenant or Contract<\/em> by Craig Hill Remember: “…we who teach will be judged more strictly.” James 3:1
\n<\/strong> 
\nObviously, many people have violated Jesus’ teaching on divorce and remarriage. What can they do now? 1 John 1:9<\/strong> has the answer: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Then they must remember that they are free from their guilt and sin. (Rom. 5:1<\/strong>; 8:1<\/strong>)
\n 
\nA divorced and remarried person can be forgiven and become a great servant of God, but he must live with the consequences of his sin as any one must live with the consequences of any sin. (Galatians 6:7<\/strong>)
\n 
\nOne of the consequences is that such a person cannot serve as elder, deacon, bishop, or pastor (minister): 
\n"A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife…"1 Timothy 3:2
\n"Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well." 1 Timothy 3:12
\n"if a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children, not accused of dissipation, or insubordination." Titus 1:6
\n<\/strong> 
\nBecause a divorced person is not “blameless” NKJ “above reproach…nothing against them…blameless” NIV 1 Timothy 3:2: 10 Titus 1:6, 7<\/strong>, and he is not “one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?)…husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well” Timothy 3:4- 5, 12<\/strong>, he should not function as elder, deacon, bishop or pastor. Sometimes a person is divorced against his will and because of little fault of his own. Or no matter what the guilt, he has truly repented. God has forgiven him. However, the teaching of Scripture does not permit a divorced person to govern a church.
\n 
\nEven in the Old Testament priests were not allowed to marry divorced women.
\n“They shall not take a wife who is a harlot or a defiled woman, nor they take a woman divorced from her husband; for the priest is holy to his God.” Leviticus 21:7
\n“A widow or a divorced woman or a defiled woman or a harlot–these he shall not marry; but he shall take a virgin of his own people as wife, so he will not defile his offspring among the people.” Leviticus 21:14
\n“They shall not take as wife a widow or a divorced women, but take virgins of the descendants of the house of Israel, or widows of priests. And they shall teach my people the difference between the holy and the unholy and cause them to discern between the unclean and the clean.” Ezekiel 44:22-23
\n<\/strong>Pastors and elders need to blameless, an example to the people, able to discern between holy and unholy.
\n 
\nThere are abundant opportunities for Christian service that are not prohibited in Scripture for a divorced and remarried person. God wants him to repent from his heart so he can make full use of his spiritual gifts.
\n 
\nThe lax views on divorce and remarriage are destroying the family, which in turn are destroying the nation. We need to determine and then clearly present God’s truth.
\n“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…” Hosea 4:6
\n<\/strong> 
\nThe consequences of divorce and remarriage can be devastating especially if there are children involved. Many such people and people in unhappy marriages are in difficult situations. The exact solution will be different in each individual case. However, God is in the business of mending broken lives.
\n 
\nIt is important to acknowledge, not justify, sin. Then we can hear His solution. His wisdom is available to everyone who truly repents: "But if any of youlack wisdom let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." James 1:5<\/strong>
\n 
\nThen they must believe: "Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him." 1 John 5:14-15
\n"For with God nothing will be impossible." Luke 1:37
\n<\/strong> 
\n 
\n*<\/strong><\/em> QUESTIONS & ANSWERS 
\n<\/strong><\/em> 
\nQuestion: Is the marriage of a person before he\/she accepts Jesus as Savior binding?
\nAnswer: “It will save you also from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God.” Proverbs 2:16-17<\/strong> Solomon, who wrote most of the book of Proverbs<\/strong>, is speaking to “my son”<\/strong> about the benefits of wisdom. One benefit is that it will save him from the wayward wife who has ignored the covenant she made before God. She obviously does not know God even though she is probably a Hebrew woman who knew His laws. She does not consider her marriage vows important, although God does. In the same way, when we make a covenant with God, He regards that covenant as binding even though we did not have a personal relationship with Him or else did not realize the importance of making a covenant with Him.
\n 
\n"According to Paul’s teaching, a marriage is not altered in any way by one of the partners becoming a Christian (1 Cor. 7:12-13<\/strong>). Similarly, God’s will for one who is divorced before being saved is reconciliation with the original partner, not a new marriage (1 Cor. 7:11<\/strong>).Interestingly, Jesus gave His teaching on divorce and remarriage to unbelieving Pharisees (Matt. 19:3 Mark 10:2<\/strong>). Apparently one lifetime marriage is God’s standard for society, not just for the church!" The Divorce Myth<\/em> by J. Carl Laney
\n <\/p>\n

\nQuestion: Does God always hate divorce?
\nAnswer: Some authors point out that the Bible is talking about older men divorcing their wives to marry younger foreign women when it says, “The Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce…” Malachi 2:16<\/strong>, and so God doesn’t always hate divorce.
\nOf course, God always hates divorce! Is there ever a divorce that doesn’t bring suffering, sorrow, shame and harmful long term consequences. Some divorces might be inevitable, and one person might be almost blameless, but God always hates divorce.
\n <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Question: Some people say that 1 Corinthians 7:27-28<\/strong> allows for divorce. Is this possible?
\nAnswer: The New King James Version says, “Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned…”<\/strong> and the New International Version says, “Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned…”<\/strong> 
\nThe Greek word for the second time "loosed"<\/strong> is used in the NKJV or the word "unmarried" <\/strong>is used in the NIV is only used once in the Bible. It is not the same word that is used for divorce. If it meant divorce, it would contradict the rest of Scripture. Even in the same chapter it says, “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives…” 1 Corinthians 7:39.<\/strong>
\n <\/p>\n

 
\nQuestion: Is there any case in which we should recommend divorce?
\nAnswer: No pastor (or Christian) should ever recommend divorce. "For any individual to try to separate what God Himself has joined together is an act of arrogant defiance against the express will of God. Anyone who chooses to do this must live with the results of his action." Love Life<\/em> by Ed Wheat, M.D.
\n <\/p>\n

           
\nQuestion: How should we treat someone who is in the midst of divorce?
\nAnswer: We should be careful not to condemn anyone going through a divorce. That person is suffering, and we need to show them love without condoning what they are doing. Only God understands all the circumstances. God may lead us to interfere if there is a possibility of saving a marriage. That is why it is important to understand His Word. We can always pray for His will.
\n <\/p>\n

 
\nQuestion: Paul instructs that the elder must be the "husband of one wife" 1 Timothy 3:2<\/strong>, 12 Titus 1:6<\/strong> Couldn’t this mean to prohibit polygamy for church leaders?
\nAnswer: At the time during which Paul was writing polygamy was forbidden in the Roman Empire (The Story of Civilization: Caesar and Christ<\/em> by Will Durant New York: Simon and Schuster, 1944 p. 396). Polygamy was not practiced by Greeks or Romans during New Testament times and was forbidden by Paul to all believers, not just church leaders (1 Corinthians 7:2<\/strong>). There would be no need to add this phrase if it meant one wife at a time, as some suggest, because anyone could qualify.<\/p>\n

It was legal to divorce and remarry under Roman law so not being divorced\/remarried had to be made as a distinctive spiritual qualification for church leaders. High standards were given for leaders (James 3:1<\/strong>), even in Old Testament times (Leviticus 21:7<\/strong>, 14 Ezekiel 44:22-23<\/strong>).
\nAnyone who was lusting after other women (Matthew 5:28<\/strong>), had been divorced\/remarried or had several wives is not one who "rules his own house well" 1 Timothy 3:4<\/strong>.12<\/strong> according to biblical standards.
\n <\/p>\n

 
\nQuestion: Should a man that has married a divorced woman be allowed to minister as a pastor, elder or deacon?
\nAnswer: “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Luke 16:18 <\/strong>He is not “blameless” 1 Timothy 3:2 Titus 1:6<\/strong> and does not "manage his own family well" 1 Timothy 3:4<\/strong>.
\n <\/p>\n

 
\nQuestion: Aren’t divorce people “blameless”<\/strong> because Jesus paid for their sins and, therefore, able to serve in governing a church?
\nAnswer: Those who believe in Jesus are accepted into heaven into the presence of a Holy God because their sins are forgiven. However, this is talking about being “blameless”<\/strong> on earth. Otherwise, why even bother to list “blameless” <\/strong>as a qualification for one who governs a church? If any Christian would be qualified to govern the church, then why a list of qualifications? The other qualifications (I Timothy 3:1-13 Titus 1:5-9<\/strong>) help define what is meant by “blameless”<\/strong>.
\n <\/p>\n

 
\nQuestion: Why, if a person has been forgiven by God, can’t he serve as a pastor, elder, etc.? What about the many people divorced through little fault of their own and against their will?
\nAnswer: Because God says the divorced person cannot serve in that capacity. If a person is truly repentant, he will not seek a position where God does not want him. Some people are eliminated because of the sins of others.
\n 
\nFollowing are considerations:
\n(1 "A man reaps what he sows." Galatians 6:7<\/strong> If we were to murder someone, we might have to spend the rest of our life in prison even if we repent and God forgives us. We experience consequences from any sin, so it is not unfair to have this restriction.
\n(2 "They should not take as a wife a widow or a divorced women, but take virgins of the descendents of the house of Israel, or widows of priests. And they shall teach my people the difference between the holy and the unholy and cause them to discern between the unclean and the clean." Ezekiel 44:22-23 <\/strong>This passage seems to put not allowing priests to marry certain people and discernment together.
\n(3 “They shall not take a wife who is a harlot or a defiled woman, nor they take a woman divorced from her husband; for the priest is holy to his God.” Leviticus 21:7<\/strong> Marrying a divorced woman seems to cause a priest not to be holy to his God.
\n(4 A pastor should be an example to his congregation. For instance, a pastor who smokes encourages, by example, his congregation to keep from repenting of smoking. A divorced pastor has a detrimental effect on his congregation’s choices. Maybe he is divorced through little fault of his own. However, someone from his congregation who is considering divorce might feel justified (even though everyone can see that he is not) because of the example of his pastor.
\n(5 An elder should have the reputation of “ruling their children and their own houses well.” 1 Timothy 3:12  “A widow or a divorced woman or a defiled woman or a harlot–these he shall not marry; but he shall take a virgin of his own people as wife, so he will not defile his offspring among the people.” Leviticus 21:14<\/strong> God is concerned that a priest “not defile his offspring among the people.”<\/strong>
\n(6 Governing a church, like marriage, requires commitment–"for better or for worse, for richer or for poor." If a person cannot live up to his marriage commitment, how can he govern a church?
\n(7 Divorce and\/or remarriage is a public sin. "Public sin has public consequences! As disobedience disqualified Saul from kingship (1 Samiel 15:22-23<\/strong>), so also the violation of God’s marriage standard disqualifies one from office in the local church." The Divorce Myth<\/em> by J. Carl Laney
\n(8 The marriage union is so sacred: "’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become on flesh.’ This a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church." Ephesians 5:31-32<\/strong> God would not want His relationship to His church to be clouded before the church and the world by allowing a divorced\/remarried person to govern His church.
\n 
\n <\/p>\n

Question: Should a divorced and\/or remarried person be allowed to minister in your church in a non-governing capacity?
\nAnswer: The Bible does not prohibit a divorced and remarried person from holding positions in the church except for bishop\/elder\/deacon (1 Timothy 3:1-13 Titus 1:5-9<\/strong>).
\n <\/p>\n

\nQuestion: If a couple has been living together for several years, could they be considered married.
\nAnswer: The most important aspect of a marriage is the covenant made with each other and before God. Any sexual relations apart from that covenant is sexual immorality and God will judge if there is no repentance (Galatians 5:19-21 Hebrews 13:4 Revelation 21:8<\/strong>, 22:15<\/strong>). Perhaps God will overlook such a sin if it committed in ignorance (Acts 15:30<\/strong>), but it is a very dangerous to allow oneself to remain in a known sin. Just because we do not think something is a sin does not mean it is not. In fact, one of the most dangerous places to be is to have your conscience so seared that you do not recognize sin (Romans 1:32 1 Timothy 4:2<\/strong>). 
\n 
\n <\/p>\n

Question: Should you stay with a mate who habitually commits adultery?
\nAnswer: Give him\/her the option of repenting and staying with you or living on his\/her own. Separate until he\/she repents, and pray continually. Ask for ongoing prayer for you and your mate from trusted family and friends. Encourage yourself through the Scripture and fixing your eyes on Jesus “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:2-3 <\/strong>
\nRemember, Jesus hates this horrible sin. He will not violate a person’s free will, but He will do all He can if we pray and obey. God has promised to be your Husband in this difficult time (Isaiah 54:5<\/strong>). It might be hopeless, but do all you can unless God tells you to end the relationship.
\n 
\n <\/p>\n

Question: Should a man or woman divorce a second spouse in order to go back to the original partner when he\/she comes to the realization he\/she has sinned?
\nAnswer: "If a second marriage has taken place, it should not be resolved in order to return to one’s previous spouse. Deuteronomy 24:1-4<\/strong> speaks to this issue. To return to one’s first spouse after divorce and remarriage to a second is declared by Moses to be "an abomination before the Lord" Deuteronomy 24:4<\/strong>. Why? Because if this were permitted, divorce and remarriage would be a ‘legal’ form of committing adultery. If you have been divorced and remarriage, recognize it as sin and appropriate God’s forgiveness, but do not compound the sin by destroying a second marriage in order to reestablish the first." The Divorce Myth<\/em> by J. Carl Laney
\nThe Lord rebukes Israel for her unfaithfulness: ‘"If a man divorces his wife and she leaves him and marries another man, should he return to her again? Would not the land be completely defiled? But you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers–would you now return to me?" declares the LORD.” Jeremiah 3::1 <\/strong>God will take Israel back. However, this passage states again the command given about returning to a former wife after being divorced. God assumes that His people know this command well.
\n 
\n <\/p>\n

Question: Several views are given for the “exceptional clause” in the previous article. What is your view?
\nAnswer: Deuteronomy 24:1<\/strong> in the Old Testament and Matthew 19:9<\/strong> in the New Testament are the only places in the Bible where God makes any comment that there might be an exception to never ending a marriage.
\n 
\nIf porneia<\/em> in Matthew 19:9<\/strong> means unlawful marriages according to Leviticus 18<\/strong>, then the reason why this exception is only given in one Scripture is because it is such a rare occurrence.   If “something indecent” Deuteronomy 24:1 <\/strong>and “sexual immorality” Matthew 19:9<\/strong> mean the same thing—a perversion of the act of love that God has created and designed—then this exception is given twice and would be more common. In this case God TOLERATES divorce just as He did in allowing Israel to have a king after stating the consequences (1 Samuel 8<\/strong>), but it is NEVER His plan or desire. The person instigating the divorce is not guilty of adultery (it has already taken place by the other party), but they are guilty of hard heartedness and breaking a covenant with God. Jesus states why there is divorce even in the case of sexual immorality—because of hardness of heart.
\n 
\nOnly if one of the partners has remarried is there no hope for the marriage. Otherwise, we are limiting God if we call it hopeless.  God knows if it is indeed hopeless. Pray and closely follow His leading. He does not want any Christian to instigate divorce; He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16<\/strong>) and Jesus said, “What God has joined together let man not separate” Matthew 19:6 Mark 10:9<\/strong>.
\n 
\nDivorce always dishonors God. On the other hand, a restored marriage, especially one that seems hopeless, honors God greatly. I have seen and heard of marriages where, because one partner faithfully prayed (while not even liking their spouse) for God’s will in their spouse’s life and claimed God’s promises for that spouse, the marriage was restored and that couple went on to do great things for God.
\n 
\n <\/p>\n

Question: Some people think that they can get remarried and then ask God for forgiveness. Is this possible?
\nAnswer: Yes. However, planning to commit a sin is willful disobedience. Repentance from the heart would be unlikely in such a case:
\n“That servant who knows his master’s will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much will be asked.” Luke 12:47-48 <\/strong>Repentance might take many blows to achieve, but better to achieve true repentance before we stand before Jesus.
\n 
\n <\/p>\n

Question: Is remarriage ever all right?
\nAnswer: Perhaps, but what passage in the Bible recommends remarriage? Several seem to imply that it is not an option: “A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:10-11<\/strong> God would have one remain unmarried or be reconciled to his or her spouse.
\n 
\nHowever, remarriage might be the best solution. For example, a woman is divorced from a man who is remarried. She is living with a man and has a child by him. She accepts Jesus as her Savior. What should she do? She must realize and repent of her sin. She has hurt God, others and society. When she sincerely repents, she must accept God’s forgiveness. She should also ask forgiveness of anyone she has harmed. She should pray fervently for God’s wisdom being careful to listen and obey. “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who give generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given him.” James 1:5 <\/strong>Only God knows the best solution, so the final choice must be between her and God. If the man with whom she is living has accepted Jesus and is a good father for their child the least harmful solution might be to marry him in order to have a stable home for their child.
\nGod loves us so much that He does wants what is best for all those involved which might be a second marriage. God knows all the circumstances. He is the Judge.
\n <\/p>\n

Question: Why do some second marriages seem to be blessed?
\nAnswer: God will bless a second marriage if there is repentance in the heart, but it does not mean He has changed His standard.
\nGod might have mercy on a couple even though they have not repented: "Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you towards repentance." Romans 2:4<\/strong> God can bless to convict of or reveal sin.
\nPeople may be blessed in many ways, but there are consequences to sin. Malachi 3:13-15 <\/strong>(quoted above) implies the harm that can come on children of divorce. One reason is children often do not understand the unconditional love of God if they have not seen it in their parents.<\/p>\n

Paradoxically when a second marriage is or seems blessed the damage to society is great. People begin to think that "the second time around is better," even though statistics show differently. They begin to think, "If it worked for that person, it might work for me–I’ll just end this marriage and try again."<\/p>\n

 
\nGod’s aim is always reconciliation, and He always acts in love. Only, Satan, with our permission because of sin, keeps us from receiving God’s blessing. When we repent, God is free to start working on all the areas that have been harmed by divorce. God can use hard times such as divorce to make us the person whom He wants us to be.
\nOnly God knows all the circumstances. He judges fairly and blesses whom He chooses.
\n 
\n 
\nBIBLIOGRAPHY
\n 
\nBeliever’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments<\/em> (electronic ed.) by W. MacDonald & A. Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers 1997, c1995).   
\n 
\nMarriage: Covenant or Contract<\/em> by Craig Hill (Family Foundations International, Box 320, LittletonColorado, 80160, Tel. (303) 797-1139 Fax (303) 797-1579)
\n 
\nThe Divorce Myth<\/em> by J Carl Laney (Minneapolis, Minnesota: Bethany House Publishers, 1981
\n 
\nLove Life<\/em> by Ed Wheat M.D. (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Pyranee Books, Zondervan Publishers, 1980).
\n 
\nNew Geneva Study Bible <\/em>(electronic ed.) (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1997 c1995).
\n 
\nThe New Layman’s Bible Commentary<\/em> by G. C. D. Howley, F. F. Bruce, H. L. Ellison (Zondervan Publishing House, 1979).
\n 
\nThe Word Bible Commentary<\/em> (electronic ed.) by W.W. Wiersbe (Nashville: Tomas Nelson Publishers, 1997 c1991).
\n 
\nWord in Life Study Bible<\/em> (electronic edition) (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1997 c1996).
\n 
\nAll Scripture references are from The New King James version of the Bible (unless otherwise mentioned) (Nashville, Camden, New York: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1979).
\n©2004 Jerrilyn Forsyth
\nFreely Available For Personal Or Group Use<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

* GOD’S VIEW OF DIVORCE * VIEWS CONCERNING THE EXCEPTIONAL CLAUSE * REMARRIAGE * QUESTIONS & ANSWERS    * GOD’S VIEW OF DIVORCE   "The Pharisees came and asked Him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’ testing Him. And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?’ They<\/p>\n

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